Diary Entry: A Week of Doctors

I never enjoyed going to the doctor. This past year I feel like it’s almost a place I go to on the regular.

Isla has a stye on her right eye that came up on New Years (Happy New Year, Isla!). After visiting a walk-in clinic that I wasn’t very impressed with, we did drops and some warm compresses. It hasn’t really done much to help. Nathan and I finally made an official doctor’s appointment at her regular doctor. Why we hadn’t done this sooner is because we were hoping it would go away on its own. Plus she needed her 4 year vaccinations and decided we could knock out two birds with one stone.

Doc said that she suggests we continue the drops in both eyes for a week, and continue warm compresses, then be seen again in a week. If it hasn’t improved any by then, she suggests we see an eye doctor. She also gave us medicine for Isla’s sinuses (I spilt half of it this morning on us…for shame. And yes, I ‘spilt’ it. Meye southurn aksint lol).

The next day was vaccine time. Boo. Nathan Facetimed Isla for this one (He’s been out of town), because he hates when she gets these. And lord, the moment this child saw that needle she was screaming! I had to hold her tightly. She screamed and cried and turned red. My poor baby. 10 minutes later, she’s all happy like nothing happened.

They suggested giving her Tylenol for a couple of days, but I can’t remember if Tylenol is safe with her sinus medicine. I’ll need to do some googling before I decide to make my baby take another dose of medicine daily.

That was Tuesday and Wednesday. Today was my turn. I have a weird excruciating pain in my shoulder that has been hanging around for about 3 years. In both lovely shoulders. I didn’t go to a doctor until after being with Daniel and him suggesting for about a year to go to a doctor about it and my anxiety. I finally gave in and decided to do my doctor homework and get myself fixed. I hadn’t been to a doctor since I gave birth to Isla, and before being pregnant, it had been since junior high…. maybe?

That doctor visit was super nice. I got on anxiety medication for the first time in my anxious life, and I got an x-ray on my shoulders. The x-ray came back fine. Then I saw the orthopedic. It’s been a battle from there.
Today, I got my 4th steroid shot. I start PT soon.

I have to make the appointment for Isla on Tuesday next week, and hopefully I don’t have a streak of doctor visits again for a little while. The shots normally keep the pain away for a little over a month. Hopefully, I get into PT before the pain starts back up.

100 Baby Challenge

If you have no clue what I’m talking about…please don’t fret. I’m not trying to have 100 babies. In real life.

Lately, I’ve been really into the new BuzzFeed The Sims 100 Baby Challenge hosted by Kelsey (Not Chelsea). This is a great series for those who enjoy playing the Sims and watching other people do horrific things with them.

I love the Sims!! I’ve been playing since Sims 1 came out. My latest game being on Sims 4 where I played Ben Solo (Kylo Ren) making his way to the top as a Interstellar Smuggler. To my surprise, he actually spoke with a weird little green guy who talked funny, and I died! That is a very dramatic Sim story I would love to share one day, but for now I want to focus on this 100 baby challenge.

I decided I would go for it. It seems super fun. There are a lot of rules so if you’re curious, go ahead and look at how I’m going to be torturing myself.

I did try it before -my trial run-, but I didn’t follow the rules exactly (mostly because I didn’t read them). I decided I’m going to try again without breaking any rules. I’m excited about this round because my girl during my trial run COULD NOT get men to like her. I have never had so many problems getting a sim to be liked. It was so frustrating.

Today is Tuesday…So I’ll update every Tuesday about this sim challenge. It will go by a bit slowly. I’ll dedicate at least 3 hours of game play a week for this blog. If I’m lucky, I may get more!

Update: Comfort Weight

Hello and good morning from my side of the world!

This is the Friday update of my weekly blog on comfort weight! If you haven’t read that blog, I suggest you start there!

I was a little down in the dumps this week with trying to lose weight, because I didn’t seem to be losing anything following the MyFittnessPal recommended calorie intake. So, I tweaked it a little. I decided to change my slightly active lifestyle down to not active…even though I consider myself way more active than the normal southern American, maybe they’re talking about the average New Yorker.

This took my calorie count from 1300 to 1200. Ok so I need to cut 100 calories out of my diet. No biggie. I also decided why not do 2lbs a week instead of one. This way I make up for the lack of losing weight.

On MyFittnessPal they will not let the calorie count go below 1200 calories a day, because they don’t want to be responsible for any health problems associated with not eating enough calories. I know that I must eat less than 1200 calories to lose 2lbs a week. I’m not highly interested in losing weight that incredibly fast, I just wanted to catch up to where I should have been.

This morning I weighed 133.8. Haha! I’ll take the 1.2lb difference! I changed the plan about 2 days ago, so I think this is the right track to follow.

LISTEN: The only reason I’m ok with eating less than 1200 calories a day is because I’m a very petite person. If you’re taller than 5’2, please don’t follow my lead…the average female needs about 2000 calories a day. I’m not on top of that parabola by no means.

I’m not going to post pictures today. Or any time soon. It takes losing 10lbs for weight loss to become noticeable. When I reach 125, I’ll be sure to post progress pictures. Hopefully, I don’t lose track of this journey along the way!

If you’re interested in what I’ve been eating:

I’ve been drinking a lot more fluids because of a cold I picked up this week. I don’t drink sodas or sweet teas. I like herbal and unsweetened teas and mixing a little Simply Lemonade with water (1:3 usually). I drink some water plain as well, but I like to stay away from drinking water without substance. I find drinking water by itself really hurts my body in ways I’ll describe another day. If water doesn’t affect you then I’d suggest just drinking water and herbal teas and cutting out every sugary drink.

I’ve stopped eating chips. I’m a big sucker for chips and dip. And I’m not going to deprive myself from chips and dip. But I do love chips. So they’re gone unless I make it a small meal on their own, such as nachos.

Sweets have been taken out almost completely. I give myself one day a week to splurge on my sugary friends. That was yesterday for me. And fun fact, yesterday I weighed 130.4 before eating all the goodies.

And cooking. I’m cooking more often and saving left overs in single serving containers. Of course over the week my serving size has gone down due to the tweaking.

Any other questions, just ask!

Diary Entry: Toggling a New Parental Struggle: my ex got a girlfriend.

Nathan and I civilly decided on every other weekend being his weekend with Isla. He can see her whenever he wants and even keep her on week nights when he isn’t working (while I’m in school, we normally go along with the latter).

Recently, things have changed.

It’s been a lot of stress for me.

Nathan finally found himself a girlfriend. This is good. He deserves to love and be loved. Although, the honeymoon phase causes some parenting issues. Nathan’s girlfriend lives about 4 hours south of our hometown, which means on his free weekends he wants to stay with her.

I agreed on tweaking our normal routine a bit to accommodate for his new found love…for a little while. Now, for 3 weekends a month, I have Isla. I know most ‘put-together’ families have to be around their kids 24/7, but they normally have the other parent helping them out. I have me. I don’t know how some single moms who have full custody with no visitations and no one else do it! I’m too spoiled.

I could ask Daniel for help a little more. I know he doesn’t mind, but I can’t find rest in allowing it to happen all the time. I can’t help thinking that asking him to help me more is asking too much. She’s not his kid. He shouldn’t have to replace Isla’s father.

It’s hard having to take care of Isla almost double the amount now. I was so used to having more time to do school work, see friends, and have some alone time. Now I have to sacrifice two for one. You can guess which one usually wins.

I’m not upset with Nathan, he deserves this. Plus he’s giving me more money to do it. It’s only temporary. But I still worry he may lose track of being a father. I guess because it’s a big fear of mine. I want her to know her dad and to love us equally. I know he loves her a lot. I’m just scared.

I know the fear will disappear in time. Especially when I see how his girlfriend reacts to him being with Isla. Isla comes first, and I hope she knows that.

Single College Mom

Before Nathan left me I was a part-time assistant librarian, but mostly a mom. I was content. I only had to leave Isla for about 4 hours a day. I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I had to be away from her any longer.

Right after Isla turned one, I would have to figure that out. When Nathan left me I had no idea what was about to happen with our lives. I did know a few things: Nathan had no intent of making sure I was provided for, I had nowhere to go, and my income would not provide enough for Isla and me.

I wished to pursue a full time position at the library, only to learn I needed a degree…something I was lacking. I decided it was time to go back to college. I knew I needed to re-define myself, even though I wasn’t ready for it, and college is always a good place to start….right?

I’m a little too ambitious for my own good sometimes, so I decided that I needed a career that would pay better and give me a lot more flexibility than the little libraries of Louisiana. I love weather, so I decided on Atmospheric Science, with the idea of getting my masters at OU and working for NOAA. Big dreams with no room for ‘momming’. I didn’t feel like I had choice anymore. I gave myself a strict 4 year timeline, and a few months later, I was beginning my college career at the age of 23 with a one year old while working part-time as an assistant librarian.

The first two semesters I was living on a strange high. I stayed pumped full of energy; I was running 3 days a week, hanging out with friends, doing homework at the library, working any shift offered, and even dedicating some time to a school club. I was too lost and impatient to slow down. Meanwhile, Isla wasn’t really being raised by me anymore. I knew this, and it hurt, but if I slowed down, I cried. If I found myself in a parenting struggle, I cried. I wanted things between Nathan and me to work out again just so I wouldn’t be alone in figuring it all out.

My third semester in college I realized I couldn’t do this anymore. Isla was losing respect for me, plus this semester was going to be the busiest yet. I missed my little girl. I saw her everyday, but I wasn’t her mom anymore. I was more like a sister now, both of us being raised by my grandmother. I needed to be with her again. I wanted her to know my values and respect me again. It was time to make a big decision- drop school or quit work to add more room for being Momma.

After some pros and cons I decided to quit my job. It was the scariest thing I ever gambled, but I managed to figure it all out.

This was when Daniel and I first met. I had gained such a liking to him… but I knew he would never be interested. I had heard that a man doesn’t want to provide for a woman so many times that I assumed I wasn’t an option for anyone anymore. A single mom without a job? Who wants that?

But for some reason, Daniel didn’t care. He was interested and he wanted to help. I thought he was dumb or something, but he’s also the smartest guy I know, so I know somewhere he saw past all the dumb stuff to me.

Ok, enough with the mushy stuff. If you’re a single working college mommy, I’ll give you some advice:

If you must live in debt for awhile, it’s worth not missing out on being Mommy–

STRESS SUCKS — that’s obvious, and money is usually behind it. If you’re like me, the idea of being in debt (or more debt) is an absolute nightmare. Personally, I hate owing money. But I had to learn that sometimes, debt is necessary. And even though I vowed to never have student loan debt, I gave up on that pipe dream to be with Isla and move us into our own place.

I can’t wildly spend, that’s a given, but I still do enough to provide us with everything we need and good living conditions. I can say that I’m way happier paying rent and bills than having none of it without Isla.

Do not over estimate yourself–

I told you how I was trying to be an atmospheric scientist, right? Well, I decided that it was too much for having a family. I was spending hours on homework (I’m bad at math… and this major is mostly math), and after some long talks with Daniel, I reconsidered being a librarian. I did love the job after all. It’s also all online! Which means I get to stay home with Isla!

Being a mommy and having to attend on-campus classes already isn’t easy, but having to spend extra hours on homework because you have to work harder to be good at something (in my case math) is stressful and takes away from raising your kid. Do what you love and what is easiest for you as a mom.

Daycare is your friend–

Daycare isn’t a place I ever wanted to take Isla, but I had to consider it after a while. My family couldn’t be available all the time and I needed to get school work done. A few hours in daycare is perfect for getting school work done and cleaning house…or even catching up on some zZzZz… And your kid gets to learn and be around other kids.

Even stay at home moms need some time to themselves.

Love yourself!–

We all have reasons for thinking we don’t deserve things. We all have moments in our past where we failed ourselves morally. But you have to forgive yourself. It’s easier said than done. And I super suggest reading the The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. He’s funny and he’s honest. And for a nice Catholic/religious read try A Life of Prayer: Faith and Passion for God Alone by St. Theresa of Avila. I’m not good at giving mindful advice, but I can recommend books!

Hopefully my advice isn’t all trash! ♥

Comfort Weight

I’m not exactly sure what the definition of comfort weight is universally, but for me it’s when I get happy and lazy.

When Daniel and I began dating almost two years ago, I weighed about 10lbs less than I do now. Even though I’m still technically BMI fine, I’m borderline not.

BMI is that Body Mass Index that gives you an idea of your ideal weight for your height. And just because you weigh borderline to the overweight section doesn’t mean you’re actually approaching overweight. That’s one thing a definitely despise about that stupid BMI scale. It’s only an idea, but visually it can be stressful.

I’ve recently decided to begin losing weight and being a bit healthier. Ok…recently decided is a bit of a stretch. I admit, I always want to lose weight. It’s a problem of mine…but this time I’m so serious that I got the MyFitnessPal app and have been doing workouts from YouTube as much as I can between mothering and school work, and more recently, blogging.

I’m going to update my weight loss journey on here and let everyone know what I’m doing to help me get into shape. I’m a no-bs kinda gal when it comes to health, so I’ll talk about all the hard hunger hardships and such. A truth weight loss, so to say.

So what’s my goal? 118lbs! And realistically, I don’t expect to be here in a few months. That’s about 17lbs from where I’m at now. That’s a lot to lose considering I’m not that big now. The smaller you are, the slower weight loss becomes. That’s because you don’t have a lot to lose.

I also realize that changing up my lifestyle to lose this weight needs to be permanent in order to keep the weight off. This is a big mistake people make when going on a “diet”. You don’t go on a diet, you change your diet. I normally say “I’m changing my eating habits” because that word diet has lost its meaning when it comes to losing weight and being healthier.

I guess I need a picture to show my 5’2 135lbs self.

Don’t mind the stretch marks, I was pregnant once! 🐯

I chose these clothes because the sports bra used to fit pretty decently but now it squeezes too uncomfortably. And these sports shorts always squeeze, so you can see my love handles pretty well.

I’ll stay consistent to the clothes and poses. I don’t like when people have lost weight in a small amount of time but they’re wearing different clothes and/or doing posses that obviously make them look smaller in the after picture…or bigger in the before pictures.

Alright! I’ll keep ya updated! Stay tuned. I’ll update every Friday about it!

Yes M’am No M’am

Do you tell your kids to say ‘Yes/No m’am/sir’? This is one parenting thing I don’t enforce too much, and here’s why:

As much as I love being respected by my daughter, I find it hard to enforce the “yes m’am, yes sir” rule (Oh and for short, I’m going to stick with “yes m’am”, and for even shorter, YM). My family taught my brother and me to say YM only with strangers, teachers, other adults etc. but not to Mom and Dad. Mom’s reason?

We are your parents, and I didn’t want you and your brother to feel like you couldn’t approach us.

And I agree with her here. I never felt fearful talking to my parents. I never worried too much about saying the wrong thing to them. They were always open and loving. With my family, we have a kind of mutual respect: do as your told- no ifs ands or buts about it. Whyyyyy? Because “I’m your parent! And you need to respect me.” With that I’ve grown to be a firm believer that words mean nothing if they aren’t followed by an equivalent action. I could say YM all day to Mom, but does that mean I respect her? No. Not at all. But they were strict about saying YM to others who were unfamiliar. And I never did stray from that. I need to respect people I don’t know, but I won’t interact with them enough to show them that respect, so the YM is more necessary.

Hmm… Maybe I could hear some thoughts on this subject. I would love to know all the sides to it and why YM is a good thing to enforce.

The Journey Begins

Good afternoon (or whatever time it is when you’re reading this), welcome to momlifeandbeyond, where I’ll be talking about the mom life and beyond. I’m excited to be sharing my life with you, reader! I almost want to use exclamation marks behind every sentence.

My family is very important to me, as it is with many of us, and I want to share some experiences with some of you who may need to hear a different kind of story.

I have a four year old Daughter named Isla Rose and a wonderful boyfriend named Daniel. Isla’s daddy, Nathan, and I separated about three years ago.

Back when Nathan broke my heart in 2016, I felt like I was crumbling. I had a one year old and no place to go. A co-worker took us in. I had too much time to think about what I did wrong, and pity myself to bits. I never wanted to be a single mom, and I never saw myself being one.

Just like fire, the tension died about a month later. Nathan and I made up, but I had my reasons for not going back to him. Still, we remained friends. I found that I wasn’t a single mom, just a mom in an unlikely situation.

When I met Daniel, all the missing pieces from my life rolled in like thunder. That might be a bit dramatic…but…we clicked in all the right ways. I’ve never felt happier sharing my life with someone. He helps me a lot with Isla.

That’s it. That’s the bases that builds up my little family and the journey that Daniel and I are going through.

….and because I actually really like this quote and picture, here ya go!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton