Diary Entry: Toggling a New Parental Struggle: my ex got a girlfriend.

Nathan and I civilly decided on every other weekend being his weekend with Isla. He can see her whenever he wants and even keep her on week nights when he isn’t working (while I’m in school, we normally go along with the latter).

Recently, things have changed.

It’s been a lot of stress for me.

Nathan finally found himself a girlfriend. This is good. He deserves to love and be loved. Although, the honeymoon phase causes some parenting issues. Nathan’s girlfriend lives about 4 hours south of our hometown, which means on his free weekends he wants to stay with her.

I agreed on tweaking our normal routine a bit to accommodate for his new found love…for a little while. Now, for 3 weekends a month, I have Isla. I know most ‘put-together’ families have to be around their kids 24/7, but they normally have the other parent helping them out. I have me. I don’t know how some single moms who have full custody with no visitations and no one else do it! I’m too spoiled.

I could ask Daniel for help a little more. I know he doesn’t mind, but I can’t find rest in allowing it to happen all the time. I can’t help thinking that asking him to help me more is asking too much. She’s not his kid. He shouldn’t have to replace Isla’s father.

It’s hard having to take care of Isla almost double the amount now. I was so used to having more time to do school work, see friends, and have some alone time. Now I have to sacrifice two for one. You can guess which one usually wins.

I’m not upset with Nathan, he deserves this. Plus he’s giving me more money to do it. It’s only temporary. But I still worry he may lose track of being a father. I guess because it’s a big fear of mine. I want her to know her dad and to love us equally. I know he loves her a lot. I’m just scared.

I know the fear will disappear in time. Especially when I see how his girlfriend reacts to him being with Isla. Isla comes first, and I hope she knows that.

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college mom - future Librarian - current assistant to the librarian - girlfriend - Catholic - weather enthusiast - paranormal enthusiast - story teller - dork

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