Diary Entry: So Unsure: So Bored – Maybe I’m Thinking too Much

I’m going through one of those patches of life where you feel down about you’re role in the world.

I think I’m just bored and miss work/school. It’s only been two weeks since school ended and I have been bored to bits. I forget I get this way too easily.

Mom’s business isn’t bringing in enough for her to just pay me. I wish I could actually help her out. Actually work and make tats. But I feel like I won’t be as good as she is. She has a good eye for what people think looks good. I….don’t. at least not for sales.

I would love to make my blog a real business. But I guess it intimidates me. I also don’t know what readers want. And I don’t produce very helpful content. Or products. Or enough creativity.

Sometimes I feel like I’m bound to be a stay at home mom because it seems to be the one thing I’m great at. I can cook decently, I can clean really well, I have patience, I love being a mom, and I love taking care of things. There’s something so fulfilling about keeping the house up and taking care of Isla’s needs. I’m not the best, but I love it.

But I also dream of being successful. For Daniel. For my family. I want to work. But would I even like it once I’m there? I’m putting in so much time for it. I guess I feel this way mostly because I had to change everything I thought about myself this past year, and I’m trying to focus on what I’m already good at. I wish I could have been right about meteorology. It pains me to miss out on storm chases. Maybe my love for storms should just stay a love for storms.

And I’m good at all sorts of things. And I’m passionate about so many things.

I love earth sciences. And I want to encourage others to love them too! And I love writing.

Haha, maybe I could blog about earth sciences and being a mom. This is mom life and beyond.

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college mom - future Librarian or science professor - girlfriend - Catholic - weather enthusiast - paranormal enthusiast - story teller - dork

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