I Got My Break

I have been Isla free for almost 7 days. Granted, this mini mom vacay was brought in part by it being Nathan’s weekend and my wisdom tooth being pulled out and being doped up on pain pills for the two days Isla was supposed to be home with me.

The break has been nice. Two days of it were spent sleeping and some weird state of hungover/high that I was very fund of. Those pain pills made me feel so nauseous, but better nauseous than in pain, amma rite? Daniel spent those two day with me, taking care of me when I couldn’t function properly and giving me company where company was needed (And for me that is quite often from him. I enjoy his company, what can I say?).

On the fourth of July, we binged on Stranger Things 3. I could eat normal food by this point, so I had Daniel get me the best of the best from Taco Bell (which for me is the Gordita Crunch with chicken instead of beef and those nacho fries, omager yum!). It hurt a little to eat them, but you know what… WORTH IT!

Yesterday we created a Ghoul Gang to explore the old E.A. Conway Hospital that is supposedly haunted. Evidence was very slim, but we did make it out with a picture that is questionable. It’ll be the next discussion on the podcast, so if you wanna hear about that eperience, I suggest you look out for the podcast (which you follow the link at the top of tha page titled HWY16 Podcast) because we would love to have your ear!

Today is a chill day, and tomorrow is Mass and grocery shopping. Then mom life returns to normal again. Until school begins, anyways.

Working on Us – Week 5

Beckiesmentalmess blog has posted week 5 of “working on us”! I chose prompt 1.

Q1: If an eating disorder isn’t about food or weight, what is it all about? And, what has it done to you personally?

Well, I once knew a girl who had an eating disorder. She suffered from bulimia, but not in a way most of us imagine. Her eating disorder started when she was very young. Before grade school from what I was told. She was the skinniest of everyone in her family, who were all very average weights. The problem with this girl was that her stomach would not hold down food. No matter what she ate, she would vomit it back up. She had to take medicine for it. I don’t know exactly what caused this problem, whether it was trauma or something, but it was diagnosed as an eating disorder. To this day she is still very thin. I haven’t spoken to her since she was in grade school, but I’m sure it still affects her, as she is still skinnier than everyone else in her family and it appears borderline unhealthy. From this, I can guess that it can sometimes be illness or even trauma related.

For me personally, I suffered from body dysmorphia, causing me to be somewhere between bulimic and anorexic. I would often times fast a whole day to make up for overeating the day before (when I didn’t actually overeat). I practically worshiped the scale. I saw myself as much bigger than I was. Even at my smallest. As many times as I was told I had a problem, I never listened. I assumed everyone was like me when it came to being weight conscious. It wasn’t until I started my anxiety medication for my OCD that I began being comfortable with my body image. It still feels weird to look in a mirror and see myself just right. My body had depressed me for years. I would work out, eat little, eat only certain “healthy foods”. I feel much more free now.

Q2: What is the most difficult thing to handle with your disorder?

The most difficult thing to handle from my OCD are intrusive thoughts, hands down!

Wisdom Teeth

The true wisdom comes from who keeps them and who doesn’t.

To keep them is foolish.

At least that’s what the dentists say.

I had a theory that the wisdom teeth were for when your back molars get cavities and rot out or pulled out, whatever…you get the point, they’re gone. Anyways, the wisdom teeth replace those teeth.

IDK. I don’t know much about dental stuff. Any thoughts? Anyone know anything?

A Southern Sunday

Here in this home we make sweet tay, tend the chickens, and cook some breakfast first thang.

We make sure the beer is replenished for this hot humid day. The men will be askin for it to be cold by noon.

The sun takes up the dew and some of the bayous and swamps. The gators and turtles are restin on logs.

We set the fans high and close our doors. We have till three to put up the skeeto nets.

At noon the TV’s on football. The kind you play here, not over seas. Beer is cracked open.

Everyone arrives who will be eatin. The husbands fix up the grill and complain about the charcoal. Now they’re off on some conspiracies.

The wives prepare the banes and slice the taters for fries. They cut up the tomatoes and salads. They talk about their silly husbands.

The husbands cook the burgers and boudin. Everyone grabs a plate and fills it up.

Grandma arrives jist in time for the food like she always does. She’s brought pie! The good kind too.

We pray and then we feast in front of the game. The men are way more into it than the wives (they’re rating butts and cheering along with the men).

When the game is over everyone is engaged with one another. Beer cans are stackin up from everyone. The pie has been eaten.

The dog wonders in. From the win, the men are so animated. The wives are happy. The boys are showing off to the girls, who giggle at they’re effort to play like the professionals.

Grandma leaves. Kissing the grands and saying farewell to their friends. The littlest begs to stay with her. Momma says yes.

We put up the skeeto nets so we can sit outside and watch the kids play with each other and the dog in the yard. All of them conveniently forgot their shoes again.

The men discuss politics, the women gossip, catching each other up on the latest gossip.

The sun goes down, more burgers are made. The adults are a little tipsy. The kids laugh at their parents’.

Everyone settles in. The little ones fall asleep with the dog. The older kids with sneak beers and get tipsy and no one notices.

The adults who can leave do. The ones who have to stay do. And the kids fall asleep together in a couple of beds. They know better. The girls are in one room, boys in another.

The house gets quiet. We all sleep.