Thoughts and Niches

Hello readers. I’m not sure if any of you are still around, but I want to say that I’m sorry for being away so much and for so long. Here is an explanation on where I went.

I’m going to go into this little tidbit here about my mental health. I have OCD and a fear of failure. I have a tendency to get caught up in negative obsessive thinking that can keep me from obtaining my goals, and I get so afraid by failure that I would rather quit. I could write a whole post about this, and maybe I will some day. I bring this up because that is exactly what happen to me and my dedication to WordPress.

I started blogging on WordPress because I was a stay-at-home mom that wanted to make some income from something I absolutely love while being able to stay with my daughter and attend college without worrying about babysitters and scheduling around school. Before my negative mindset set in, I knew it wasn’t as easy as making a blog post everyday, and that I would need to put a lot of time and effort into it. I have read it takes years for some bloggers to start earning enough to make a living, and when I started I was ok with that. The only issue I had was coming up with a niche.

A niche sounded nice, but I’m a very random person. I decided to make a blog that was about my life as a college mom. A life-style blog. That way I didn’t have to pressure myself to come up with ideas that only revolved around one certain subject. In the beginning, before I officially made the site, I toyed around with all my passions (fitness, weather, books, being a mom, writing fantasy, playing games, the paranormal), writing down ideas in my journal and on my Tumblr. Eventually, I found that I like talking about all of it, and I want to talk about it whenever. That’s how I came up with my website name… mom life and beyond.

I loved my new website…the look, the feel, the freedom…but that idea of having a niche itched at me. I wanted one. Niches are really hard, ya know? Some people have a niche seemingly installed in their brains and can go on and on and on about it. I, on the other hand, have a hard time sticking to one thing longer than a few months. I love to write and blog, but about everything.

My website can be quite inconsistent. The randomness may throw some of you readers off and I honestly don’t want to disappoint any of you. At least, that is what research about blogging has told me. Is me blogging even worth my time and effort?

I soon became so consumed with thoughts of not having anything good enough to blog about that could provide people with something, wondering if I’m a narcissist for wanting to write about my thoughts and think people actually want to read them, and that I could never be as good as other bloggers because of my lack of a niche…. that I quit. I abandoned ship to relieve the anxiety. A compulsion to try and keep myself humble. Thinking of it makes me shiver with anxiety. Brr…

I want to challenge myself. I want to get back to doing something I have loved since I discovered the excitement of words. Niche or not. I want to have fun and express myself!

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