It’s a Journey

I don’t think one can ever be ready for a baby. Even with baby fever. It’s just one of those things you have to experience to know.

Daniel and I will be at different stages. He will be starting new, while I’ll be starting again. I know he’ll be wonderful through it all. I want to see the joy in his eyes when he feels the first kick. How will he rub my belly? How will he change?

Then there’s me. What will change for me? What I knew before was fine, but will it be fine once I see how Daniel does it?

Anyways, I’m only 7 days past ovulation (dpo), and I can’t test until I’m at least 9dpo. I think I’m going to wait this one out. Let Aunt Flow (AF) appear missing before I test. There’s really no point in testing early if it’ll just be negative. Well, I guess I would just expect my period to come any day then.

I’ll probably end up testing. But I’m hoping my willpower will be strong enough to not. Does that make sense? I’m a bit scatter-brained.

Symptoms? With my first pregnancy, all I had was stomach issues before I found out. I know every pregnancy is different, but I’m here to say that I literally had none until about week 6. I didn’t know as much as I know now, but I was still pretty keen on what to look for. I chart now. I don’t really need to, I just do because it’s fun and neat to see your cycle with scientific data. I’m normally on the nose about when I ovulate just based on knowing my body. I honestly assumed I’d get pregnant on our first try. Now that we’re trying, I’m afraid that might be wrong. Many women try for years and they seemingly do everything right. More right than I have this cycle. Plus, I’m not as young and my uterus has been through a lot…what if I can’t even carry?

We danced 3 days before ovulation. That makes the chances go down quite a bit. What are the odds that the sperm stayed alive until the egg was released?

I see my GYN next week. The day I’m due to start my period. This wasn’t planned. I made the appointment back in late July. I wanted to see if my body CAN get pregnant.

I’m not sure what I’m most excited about. Founding out if I’m pregnant, or hearing what the GYN has to say about it. It would be super convenient to find out I’m pregnant the day I go in. It would be too perfect, wouldn’t it?

Daniel is optimistic. He says that he thinks I am pregnant and that I need to relax. How can I relax when I’m so impatient to know what my body can do?

8dpo is supposed to be the average implantation time. Implantation is when HCG levels will finally begin to rise. 10dpo is when you can expect a faint positive if you are pregnant. By then, I’ll only have 2 days until AF shows up. Hmm…

I’ll probably test.

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